Staying Married, It's Almost a Rarity These Days
By Kallie & Co., Contributor Kimi the Tattooed Mama. http://kimithetattooedmom.blogspot.com
Marriage is tough. Wedding days are beautiful but what follows after the honey moon is over can be rough. Every marriage is different. Every relationship shall I say is different. This is not advice. I repeat this is not advise. This blog is just merely my experience. What makes me qualified? Nothing really. This year is my 10-year anniversary. I love my husband more than a person could love someone. It hasn't been a fairy tale for us. Our time has been the best for me. Sometimes I feel like marriage is different now a day than it used to be. I am only 28, but I feel like the constitution of it is completely different. I do believe that some people do not have to be married. To be very honest, I was a person who did not want to be married. Then when I was just 15 years young, my now husband walked into my life. He was a hurricane that swept up so much from my life.
He allowed me to start over. We also got pregnant when I was 16. When I turned 18, I married him. Not because I felt I had to. After I got pregnant we split, and after I had our son who is 11 now I dropped out of High School to support him full time. Now a lot of people would say where was the baby’s dad. Well he joined the military. Yep, he enlisted in The United States Marine Corps. He is still in until this very day. Back then. I wanted to support my son on my own. I did not want my now husband Nathan to stay around because he thought he owed me something. Simply because we had a kid together. What I did not know was that rough time between us is what made us come together.
I wanted to figure out my life on my own. He loved me and wanted me to be independent enough to love him back without anyone telling us how to. He left for deployment. He asked me to marry him several times. I said no. We had issues while he was gone for that year, and two months before he came back I agreed. So, I had a wedding to plan in two months. Yikes, I was a mess! So, he came home, we got married and we moved to San Diego. Transition was hard. Here we were toddler in hand trying to figure out who we are together as well as individuals. Not only that but we had a lot of people telling us to wait and that we were too young to get married. Maybe we were. I knew one thing. The last person at night I wanted to see was him. The first person I see when I wake up (besides my children) is him. It was not easy. We fought, we yelled, and we said things to each other that sometimes just cut us to pieces. We worked on us. No relationship is perfect all the time. That is not how the real world works. You have to put in work when you go into a marriage. Even a relationship there is work involved. Getting married means to me that when the ring goes on the finger before friends, family and god. You are giving a piece of yourself to someone else. That is to not be taken lightly either. It is a big deal. You are both going to have to sacrifice. Both are going to have to compromise. Both more than likely will be stubborn about certain things because you are right lol. Maybe that is just me. In our marriage he does not walk in front of me. He walks beside me. We have also learned that I love one way and he loves a completely different way. We learned to meet in the middle. We are not perfect human beings. All of our issues, we had to work on them. Sometimes they were things that we needed each other for. Others were issues only us as individuals can figure out. Those instances were rough. Raising kids together is another subject. We managed to do all of this. For us we have just learned to be open and talk about things we need from each other. My husband is not a mind reader. That would make my life easy though. I cannot read his either. Being open and lovingly about what we need has worked out great. We have also made it a thing to not get mad about things that are insignificant. Just let the little things roll off and focus on the main goal. So many things go into a healthy marriage. Again, I am not an expert. These are things that have worked for us. I am happily married. I can’t see my life without him. Here is a list that works for us..................
Talk about things that are making u upset.
Never say anything with malice.
Make your spouse laugh at least once a day.
Let the other have space when needed.
Let the other person into your space at times you do not want them there. (i know but give them space but moments you will seclude yourself when really you need that person to hug you).
Do not let money rule your relationship things are just things money does not fix love.
Show a person you love them in a special way as often as you can within reason.
Love is what should make the world go round.
Kimi the tattooed Mama
P.S I love you Nathan. thanks for dealing with my crap all these years.